is the real culprit in violence against women and children.
Alcohol and drugs can make abuse worse, but they do
not cause abuse. Rather, it justifies the use of physical force by allowing
the offender to abdicate responsibility for his behaviour. Some men
become intoxicated in order to act out their violent wishes.
beat their wives are mentally ill.
Violence against women is too widespread to be explained
away by mental illness. Most men who assault their wives confine it
to the privacy of their home. The abuse is often directed to particular
parts of the body that will not visibly bruise or is covered; obvious
restraint and forethought is necessary to accomplish this. Violent husbands
are not likely to attack their bosses or any member of the public because
they are frustrated. If the man was truly ill, he would lack the ability
to be selective in his targets and controlled in his administration
who are assaulted are usually asking for it.
No woman ever deserves to be beaten, regardless of
the kind of person she is. Provocation is an excuse the offender uses
to avoid responsibility for his own behaviour. Many people support his
view by examining the victim’s behaviour or personality for clues
as to the cause of the abuse. Excuse – making perpetuates the
use of violence as an acceptable method of problem – solving and
leads the offender to believe he is justified in using force to get
his own way.
who are assaulted often like it.
Women do not find pleasure in abuse. In fact, women
are terrified, horrified, and disgusted when their partners turn on
them. The “masochist” label (someone who derives pleasure
from pain) is often used in an irresponsible manner by uninformed people
to explain the assaulted woman’s dilemma. Although women often
return to an abusive partner, it is not violence that they are returning
to, but the hope that it has stopped. Applying this label to assaulted
women is demeaning and disrespectful and is one more way to blame the
who stay in abusive relationships do so because they don’t mind
Women remain in abusive relationships for many reasons.
Some are committed to their marriages and desperately want them to be
successful. They want the children to grow up with their father and
feel responsible for keeping the family together. They also hope he
(the abuser) will change.
against women and children is embarrassing but is not really dangerous
to the victim.
Wife assault causes serious and sometimes permanent
damage. Two out of three women who experience physical violence suffer
injuries. The injuries range from bruises and body aches, to open wounds,
broken teeth, broken bones and in the extreme death.
against women is common only among the poor and working class people.
There is no proof of this. Research has shown that
abusers come from all walks of life and from all backgrounds: rich,
poor, educated, uneducated, rural and urban. There are no exceptions.
In the same way, victims of violence come from all backgrounds. However,
violence in upper classes is more likely to be hidden from public scrutiny
because these women may have more to lose by exposing their situation.
Men who beat their wives and children only do so when they are overtaken
by aggression – it is not a common occurrence.
Wife assault is rarely an isolated incident. One study
showed women being beaten as many as 35 times before their contact with
the Police. In a Gender Centre study, one third of women in Ghana admitted
living with abuse for years before reporting.
sex crimes because they do not have enough sex.
Men who commit sex crimes do not have any more “hormones”
or sex drive than others. Often these men have sexual partners; the
reasons for the crime are not solely sex.
abuse hurts physically.
Some sexual abuse may be “gentle”, and
therefore not hurt physically. This does not mean it is not sexual abuse.
Often there is severe emotional and psychological damage. When a victim
experiences pleasure, particularly in cases of incest, they may feel
guilty. When sexual boundaries are violated within the family, there
is confusion in the areas of sexuality and other relationships.
a man’s right in marriage; he will look for it elsewhere if you
deny him sex.
Society has granted permission for men to see sex
as their right in marriage. However, sex in marriage is a matter of
against women shows your love.
Men beat their wives to show control, it is not a
sign of love. Violence shows disrespect and degradation and the highest
contempt for another human being. It speaks about the unequal status
in the relationship.
against women is a recent phenomenon.
Violence against women is not a recent phenomenon.
Recent publicity may lead you to think it is on the rise, but in fact
it has always been a hidden part of the community. Women, angry and
tired of being victimized, are demanding that it become a public issue,
a social problem in need of a remedy.
assault is committed by strangers.
In Ghana, studies have shown that over ninety percent
of victims know the person who sexually assaulted them. They may be
acquaintances, someone they recognize or close friends or relatives.
is the victim’s fault.
Rape is not the victim’s fault. An offender
may say a victim asked for it because of how they looked or acted. Unfortunately
it is not only the offenders who believe this myth, but also much of
the general public. Such statements as: “she wasn't wearing much,”
‘she was drinking,” “she did agree to go out with
him,” and “well, everybody knows what kind of girl she is,”
indicate that the blame is being placed on the victim and not the offender.
Very often victims feel as if the assault was their fault and that had
they done something different it might not have happened. The self –
blame victims go through can be very damaging and have long-term effects
on their life relationships. Victims should be given support and reinforcement
that they did nothing wrong and that it wasn't their fault. Even if
the victim was doing something risky, such as asking for a lift, she
did not ask to be sexually assaulted.
- Women say no when they mean yes.
- Women receive pleasure and do not object.
- Women who are sexually assaulted are precocious,
flirtatious and seductive.
- Women dress inappropriately.
- Women who are sexually active falsely report sexual
assault to save reputations
- Women make accusations to get attention.
- Women fantasize about rape; girls fantasize about
- An unwilling woman cannot be raped.
- Men who are sexually violent are sick, lack self
– control or are deviant.
- Incest occurs because wives are not sexually available.
- Men are not to blame if they lose control; and
- Men who rape are possessed by the devil.
- Women should not be out late at night or be in
- A married woman cannot be raped by her husband.
Her husband has a right to her sexually whenever he wants.